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The Anatomy of Adultery and Murder (9)

And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said                 unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die. Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die.” (2Sam. 12:13-14).

Welcome to our last discussion on The Anatomy of Adultery and Violence. Last week, we centered on the dangers of illicit sex. But this week, we shall discover how to escape    sexual sin. There are a number of ways a man can escape illicit sex, which means there is cure or solution to it.

The first step is to become truly born again by having a personal experience with the Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord, Saviour and great deliverer. Many people think they are true believers but a careful or simple scrutiny will always reveal them as ordinary church goers or nominal Christians. Without Christ in the center of a life, such person can do nothing. Being born again brings into operation the anointing or power of the Holy Spirit that enables us to overcome all sexual temptations.

We must also possess a strong devotional Christian life in terms of living and obeying  God's words or commands.

“Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.” (Ps. 119:11).

Be part of a living church and get planted with focus to enable you learn effective praying and study of the word with sound responsibilities.

“Those that be planted in the house of the LORD shall flourish in the courts of our God.  They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing.” (Ps. 92:13-14)

Be a vessel of honor in your local church by taking up leadership positions no matter how small and grow with it. Decide to fast and pray regularly to help you on how to get out of a selfish attitude.

“Is not this the fast that I have chosen? To loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?” (Isa. 58:6).

The mind must be properly guarded with Gods' word and learn to cast down all lustful thoughts through the practice of consistent obedience to God's word.

“… For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Prov. 23:7a). “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” (2Cor. 10:5).

We must guard our flesh, eyes, ears and mouths. These are entry points to a man's heart.

“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.” (Mat. 5:28-29).

Guarding our eyes, ears, flesh and minds will involve a number of practical decisions that must be taken with total commitment and responsibility.

First, we must get rid of all pornographic films, pictures and even worldly materials that

encourage immoral thoughts and sexual perversion. This is because more than 75 per cent of TV programs are on sex apart from new items, whether directly or indirectly “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” (1Cor. 6:18).

Secondly, we must get rid of photographs of old lovers, their phone numbers and addresses and break communication with them.

“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.” (1Jn. 2:15-17).

Thirdly, we must watch and choose carefully the kind of music we listen to that feeds our flesh, eyes, ears or minds  negatively or sexually.

“And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds. Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver.” (Acts 19:18-19).

Fourthly, unless the person is married, contraceptives like pills, condoms and other family planning devices must be destroyed.

Fifthly, we must avoid using dirty and immoral language or discussions, foul or profane discussions.

“Be not ye therefore partakers with them.” (Eph. 5:7)

Lastly, we must invest our time, treasure or money on sound moral books, videos, music and magazine. There must never be any emptiness or vacuum in our lives.

Take this journey now, don't wait! With God all things are possible as you completely depend on Him.

This Democracy Has Fallen

According to a known South African freedom fighter, Walter Sisulu, the most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.  This word of wisdom really captures the exact reality that is our political albatross today in this country called Nigeria. We are men given to frivolities, fixations and arbitrariness.  We dream foolishly, and act hopelessly.  In this country, we are never original; rather, we all curve into first class copy cats.  Whatever is the vogue internationally, even if it is against our collective national destiny, we always go for it; all of us, right from the followership to the rulership

I don't want to sound as a military apologist but I have no regrets, if I am defined as such.  All my life I detested the idea of being influenced by what people say about me.  My ideals and principles of life hinges mainly on the necessity of being on the side of history no matter how much it will cost me.  Even as copy cats, we always copy wrongly and against our individual as well as collective national interest.  Else, how can one explain the blind and hopeless obsession with this political monster of a system called and adored as democracy?

Democracy in a simple language means the power of people to decide and dictate their choices and destinies.  It has been a system that glorifies the supremacy of the majority over the minority. Politically, it signifies the absolute power and control of the followers over the leaders.  All over the world, this system serves as a buffer zone between the executive powers of the rulers and the absolute powers of the followers.  It harps on the wisdom of power lying in the hands of the people, and the people are always right and supreme.  By its operational principle, democracy is service to the people, sacrifice to the society, a trust for those, who are tested and found to be worthy of being trusted, citizens that are morally and ethically sound etc.

But in this country, everything is wrong with our democracy. First, it is un-Nigerian in origin and application, second, it is immoral practice, and thirdly, it is operated by people of easy virtues and questionable character.  All these, apart, in our democratic Nigerian, the values and principles of this system is turned up side down.  It is forced to sit on its head.  There are countless number of things that are wrong with our democratic experiment; problems that are self inflicted.  And I refuse this simplistic excuse that we are still in the learning process.  In Nigeria, the process itself is faulty, how then can anything good be learned from it?

First, our political parties are not people based. They are all elitist in nature and represent only the interest of the elites.  All our parties are not ideologically motivated and operated, both constitutionally and conventionally.  They lack the very basic ingredients of party cohesion that is referred to as internal democracy.  Candidates are imposed and party primaries are rigged in favour of unpopular candidates.  Second, elections are never political instruments for proper selection of people's representatives.  The electoral body is politicized and compromised to the extent that it has become a bureaucratic arm of the ruling party.  Third, contestants are the worst set of Nigerians in human history.  Hardly can you get a man of proven integrity in the system.  Those, who are relevant are those whose past is appalling, whose present is disgusting and whose future is brazenly frightening.  Election rigging is a norm perfected  thuggery a value cultivated, violence a virtue adored.  Service to the people is a vice and sacrifices to the nation a taboo.  What a system and a people?

In all fairness and objectivity, there is no democracy in Nigeria.  Without people and society that is built on the tenets of democratic principles, how can you have democrats?  In our case, we have political jobbers and speculators as contractors, we have people, who are lazy and unproductive short-changing the system for their selfish interest; we have people that steal in the day and rob in the night. Ours is a system that promotes self over others, parasitic minority over productive majority, ignorance over wisdom, felons over patriots etc.

It is only a fool that can expect anything good or tangible from these people and system.  I expect no miracle from this people and no hope from this system.  In the last nine years, we never had it so good in the terms of revenue accruing to the nation but yet poverty has been our next of kin.  This is indeed the character of our own democrats, and the nature of our own democracy. 

Coping With The Stress Of Life (3)

Internal causes of stress include: uncertainties or worries, perfectionism, pessimistic attitude, low self-esteem, self-criticism, excessive or unexpressed anger, unrealistic expectations or beliefs, lack of assertiveness. The presence of a stressor doesn't automatically end in disabling stress symptoms. The degree to which any stressful situation or event impacts your daily life and functioning depend partly on the nature of the stressor itself and partly on your own personal and external resources. Stressors that involve central aspects of your life (your marriage, job) are chronic issues (a physical handicap, living from paycheck to paycheck), are more likely to cause severe distress. Sudden intense crisis situation (being raped, robbed at gunpoint, or attacked by a dog) are understandably overwhelming. Without immediate intervention and treatment, debilitating stress symptoms are common. Stressors are cumulative, so the more life changes or occurrence of daily hassles, you are dealing with at any one time, the more intense the symptoms of stress. The same stressors can have very different effects on different people. For example public speaking stresses some people out but some other thrive on it. Additionally, if you are able to see some benefits to the situation, the silver lining or a hard lesson learned, the stressor is easier to swallow. The more you know about a stressful situation including how long it will last and what to expect, the better able you will be to face it e.g. if you go into surgery with a realistic picture of what to expect post-op, a painful recovery will be less traumatic than if you were expecting to bounce back immediately. Some people roll with the punches, while some others crumble at the slightest obstacle or frustration. The more confidence you have in yourself and your ability to persevere, the better able you will be to take a stressful situation in stride. A strong network of supportive friends and family members is an enormous buffer against life's stressors. But the more lonely or isolated you are, the higher your risk of stress. It is very important at this point to highlight some of the effects of chronic stress.

Chronic stress wears you down day after day and year after year, with no visible escape. Under sustained or severe stress, even the most well-adjusted person loses the ability to adapt. When stress overwhelms our coping resources, our bodies and minds suffer. Recent research suggests that anywhere from between 60 to 90 percent of illness is stress-related. The physical wear and tear of stress includes damage to the cardiovascular system and immune system suppression. Stress compromises your ability to fight off diseases and infection, throws your digestive system off-balance, makes it difficult to conceive a baby, and can even stunt growth in children.

Many medical conditions are caused or exacerbated by stress, including: chronic pain, migraine, ulcers, heartburn, heart diseases, diabetes, asthma, infertility, auto-immune diseases, irritable bowel syndrome, high blood pressure, obesity, and skin diseases. Also chronic stress grinds away at your mental health, causing emotional damage in addition to physical ailments. Long-term stress can even rewire the brain, leaving you more vulnerable to everyday pressures and less able to cope. Over time, stress can lead to mental health problems such as: anxiety, depression, eating disorders and substance abuse. Severe stress reactions can result from sudden, catastrophic events or traumatic experiences such as a natural disaster, sexual assault, life-threatening accident, or participation in combat. After the initial shock and emotional fallout, many trauma victims gradually begin to recover from its effects. But for some people, the stress symptoms don't go away, the body doesn't regain its equilibrium, and life doesn't return to normal. This severe and persisting reaction to trauma is known as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Common symptoms of PTSD include: Flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, or nightmares about the trauma. Avoidance of places and things associated with the trauma, hyper-vigilance for signs of danger, chronic irritability, tension and depression. Managing stress and its symptoms must begin with the admission that while unchecked stress is undeniably damaging, there are many things you can do to control it and reduce its effects.

Following a few simple stress management tips can help you minimize stressors in your life, deal with your stress symptoms in a healthy way, and buffer yourself from its negative effects. Not all stress can be avoided, but when it hits, relaxation techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, exercising or simple work-outs, listening to music, reading and yoga are a few of the things you can actually do to provide relief. Whatever you decide to do, always remember that the Almighty is out there waiting for us to enlist His assistance in our endless quest at coping with the stress of life.